Exhausted

We played this weekend with old friends. Actually, it was really nice seeing them.

I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am in my life and what things I want to stay the same and/or change. I think swinging has helped me to start "thinking outside the box." What if we had this thing called "ethical nonmonogamy?" What if I didn't have to live a "standard life" constricted by society's rules? What kind of person would I be? The funny thing is, I have to change the question to reflect my current situation. Simply put, the question becomes...What kind of person am I?

I am finding out so many things about myself. I don't like extended sex sessions- it's about quality not quantity. I love oral...giving and receiving (I had wonderful oral this weekend...thank you thank you). I like being in shape. I love men who smell nice. I love men who are a tad wild and confident. I love being the center of attention. I love boyshorts but look horrible in them. I want a flatter stomach. I hate always wearing my hair up but am too lazy to do anything with it. I think lipgloss is divine. I have given up wearing make-up except for lipgloss and the occasional body shimmer. I am falling in love with the color orange. Morning sex is not my favorite. I would love to wear fake boobs one day and see what it is like to be a "sex kitten." Don't worry, I still love my "almost a mouthful boobs." I love surprising Austin with my selflessness (doesn't occur often but when it does...he is impressed.) I am actually a very private person- very few people truly get to know the true me. In other words, I am cautious and very tentative with friendships. Sometimes, I like having my way...other times I like to be challenged. I like people who can stand up to me when I am pouty...but I also adore those who know when to back down. I love the concept of spirituality but I am an unapologetic agnostic. In other words...I am complex, some would say nuts!